So What Does It Mean to be a Frustrated Christian?

Have you ever believed God for a promise and it didn’t come to pass? The disappointment may have left you, angry, confused, and frustrated–no less!  You had the exact scriptures memorized and recited them by heart!  “Nothing is impossible to those who believe, right?!  If you speak into this mountain, it will move, right?? Matthew 17:20. But your efforts came to no avail, an hence–the frustration. Frustration is defined as having disappointed expectations and foiled plans.  The frustrated christian is beset this exact problem.  Perhaps a dream has gone unrealized or an outcome was unfavorable…leaving the frustrated christian in a precarious position–that of distrust or disbelief of God.  Many people have been implored by prosperity teachers to believe for a new house, a new job, or perhaps perfect health.  But the house deals falls through, another person gets the promotion, the disease progresses… It seems that despite “speaking unto the mountain” the situation remains unchanged and frustration and bitterness inevitably set in.  Christians become disappointed with God, convinced that the word does not work.  Some vow never to trust again.  Some become determined to handle things on their own.  Some even walk away from the faith.  The purpose of this e-book to shed light on teachings in the word about faith and expectations in the midst of difficult circumstances.  My hope is that you have a renewed boldness that is based on biblical teachings…line upon line…precept upon precept…so that you may be set free from the frustration and pitfalls that so easily befall those who exercise faith in prosperity teaching and doctrines. I pray that in reading this, your faith and understanding in God’s word grow and are perfected more and more.  May God bless the teaching of this word, so that we may understand why many of our plans were frustrated and develop confidence and assurance in the fact God’s plans are never frustrated! ( Job 42:1-2)  May his plans be our plans!

The Frustrated Christian Does Not Know The Will of God

The Frustrated Christian Does Not Know the Will of God

“And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask anything according to his will, he heareth us.  And if we know he hears us, whatsoever we ask, we have the petitions we desired of him”  I John 5:14

So for all of those who are advocates of prosperity doctrines, we can explore the pitfalls of this teaching right here.  Yes, there are many scriptures used to support “word-faith” teaching–that whatever you confess you shall have.  Mark 9:23 does  indeed say “if you can believe ALL things are possible.” Matthew 21:22 does say”WHATEVER you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.”  But I always like to view scripture in context of the whole bible.  And while these scriptures are truth…I John 5:14 gives us deeper understanding.  Now look closely, right after the “anything” that caused our hearts to palpitate. The caveat there is that it must be “according to his will.”  So you can pray all you want to be a millionaire, but if it is not in God’s will it’s never going to happen.  Frustration will set in if you are praying for a new house, when it is not God’s will for you to have one at that time.  If you exhaust your human efforts to get one anyway and  actually succeed, I can assure you that everything will seemingly go wrong with that house!  See, the real problem here is that the frustrated christian is believing God for the plans in his own heart. Proverbs 16:9 says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord establishes his steps.”  Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many are the plans in a mans heart but the Lord’s purpose prevails.  Yet another scripture is Psalm 33:11, “The Lord foils the plans of nations, he thwarts the purposes of peoples.  But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever.”  So we learn here that God himself will frustrate your plans.  So when things seem to not come to pass as you desire, don’t lose faith in God’s plans for you.  Lose faith in your own plans.

Jeremiah 29:11 states, “For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord.  “Plans for prosperity and not harm, to give you an expected end.”  The fact that scripture states that God has plan(s) for you denotes that God has specifically set up detailed things that will occur in your life.  To me, this denotes that a blueprint for your life has already been mapped out.  Instead of discovering what that blueprint is, we follow our own blueprint and wonder why our plans fail.    Paul says it like this, “Let us run with perseverance the race with endurance marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1    See, Paul knew that the race was already mapped out.  I don’t know about you, but when I think of a race I think of a situation where obstacles and hurdles must be overcome.  God places all those things in our  paths in order to perfect our faith.  The completion of the aforementioned verse is this  ” Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for joy set before him endured the cross, scorning it’s shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”  Hebrews 12:2.  See, even the savior had his course mapped out for him.  It was not his will, but he said “Nevertheless not my will, but your will be done” Luke 22:42.

My point here is this, if we are frustrated, we must examine our hearts to see if we are pushing our own will and our own agenda.  But the exciting part is this, as it states in I John 5:14, we can have confidence that if we ask anything according to God’s will, he will do it!  Anything!  All the things we know are in God’s will from his word have absolute power to come to pass!  Exciting, isn’t it?  This is how we exercise real faith.  It’s not about mustering up some supernatural level of faith to believe God for material things regarding the prosperity message.  It’s about believing for God’s will to come to pass…in this we know that nothing shall be impossible.  And if we ask anything according to his will, he will do it!  That’s real faith.

Perhaps, we may not know  what the will of God is.  No worries…Proverbs 16:3 says “Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him]; He will cause your thougths to become agreeable to His will, and so shall your plans be established and succeed.” Proverbs 16:3  All we have to do is commit our plans over to God in faith, and he will transform our will into his own.  As long as we are not forcing our own plans, God will do this!  The transformation of our will to God’s will requires action on our part, I will tackle this in the next chapter.

The Frustrated Christian Has Not Been Transformed by the Renewing of Their Mind

Therefore I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer you bodies as living sacrifices…Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what the will of God is.” Romans 12:1

This verse tells us that in order to know what the will of God is, we must be transformed by the renewing of our minds in God’s word.  In doing so, we will no longer conform to the pattern of this world.  The way of the world is to commit your works and plans to yourself.  The whole basis of our plans are often self-interest and self-promotion.  The world is concerned about  pleasures, individual promotion, and the acquisition of wealth, power, and honor.  As christian, we must not be like the world and consume our lives on these things.  God’s word says ” Set your minds on things above and not on earthly things” Colossians 3:2.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where theives break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19

These scriptures may be a little difficult to fully commit to at this point, because the world has engrained in our minds the need “to get”  “to accumulate” and “to store-away.”  We are programmed for self-advancement.  But acceptance of these biblical truths requires thought renewal.  Now notice, I did not say that it is God’s will for you to be poor.  What I said, is that you should not be seeking to accumulate more and more wealth for yourself.    If you are frustrated because you are doing everything in your power to accumulate wealth for yourself, this is not God’s will.  Our ambition should be to provide an honest living for our familes, and should you get wealthy–don’t forget the poor.  James put’s it this way “Pure religion undefiled before God us this, “To help the fatherless and the widows in their affliction [the poor] and keep thyself from being polluted by the world.    We accomplish this by renewing our minds in the word.   Only then can we know God’s will for our lives.

While we are on the subject of knowing God’s will, let’s escape momentarily to Isaiah 58 where we also see God speak of his will to man and how we can receive guidance from him to find it.

If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday,  The  Lord will guide you always…” Isaiah 58

There it is, the Lord will guide you always…he will show you his will and his way when you renew your mind in his word.  When you learn to take your eyes of your success and your acquisition of more things, and expend  yourself on those who have nothing–then you will know what the will of God is!  How can we set our minds on heaven and not on earthly things.  How can we store away treasures in heaven?  We do it by taking the resources we have here and giving to those that have less than we do.  You will not lack because God’s word says, ” A generous man will prosper, he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed” Proverbs 11:25.

The funny thing is, when we are no longer trying to acquire more and more for ourselves, the frustration vanishes.  We are focused on  God’s will, and not our own.  If we don’t get the promotion, it’s okay because we know it wasn’t God’s will.  But as longer as we are focused on our own interests above anyone elses, we shall be frustrated. One more scripture for the road:

Phillipians 2:2-5  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.  Rather in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you in the interest of others.  In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as  Christ Jesus.

This is the will of God.

The Frustrated Christian Does Not Seek the Kingdom First

But seek ye first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”  Matthew 6:33

Many people protest that they do indeed seek the kingdom first.  My litmus test for that is to suggest those individuals to reflect on what they spend the majority of their time in prayer about…is it the kingdom or is it a desire?  The frustrated christian is frustrated if they are trying to reverse the order of this scripture.  Some are seeking the other things first and leaving God’s kingdom to take the back seat.

Let’s take a moment to explore the parable of the four soils.  In Mark 4:18 it reads “Others, like the seed sown among the thorns heard the word, but the worries of this life, the deceitfullness of wealth, and desires for other things choke the word and make it unfruitfull.  Others, like the seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce crop thirty, sixty, or one hunfred fold.”

What I want to focus on here are those “desires for other things.”  These desires are anything that prevent us from sowing seeds of righteousness and the lives of others.   I noticed that in God’s word…he only instructs us two seek after things…that’s his kingdom and his righteousness.  Desires will be added.  Our first ministry is to win souls for Christ.  Our prayers should first be for the harvest of souls.  Our personal desires should not choke out the good seed…which is the commission to win others for Christ.  In the next verse God says this, “Do you bring a lamp to put it under a bowl or a bed?  We are not to put the message of the gospel under a lamp.  We should be witnesses and bring light to those who cannot see.  We should be scattering the seed about, in hopes that God will take our works and multiply it–to ready a harvest of souls.

The christian will always be frustrated if they primarily focus on the “added.”  If our minds are set on God’s kingdom, we will not be frustrated by our “desires for these other things.”

The Frustrated Christian is Concerned About the Cares of This World

“See the lilies of the field grow.  They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field which is here today and tommorrow is thrown in the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying “What shall we eat?” or “What shall we drink?” or “What shall we wear?”  For the pagans run after these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them”  Matthew 6:25-31

Immediately, God follows this verse with the command to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness in verse 33.  If we can obey God and put his kingdom first, all the things we worry over will be given to us as well.  We refuse to share the gospel and bring in the harvest of souls to degree God desires because we are concerned with caring for our own needs.  In Mark 4:19, it states that the cares of this world choke out the word and make it unfruitful.  We use our gifts, time, and money to make provisions for own own cares–to clothe ourselves.  But Jesus tells us to regard the birds of the air, they do not toil.  They do not store or reap.  They do not store away in barns.  We should regard how magnificently clothed birds are.  Do we not marvel at their beauty?  He commands us to look at the lilies of the field…they are remarkablly dressed in the most intricately beautiful design.  Yet, they also have done nothing to contribute to their clothing.  Yet we toil and toil, to make provisions for our own cares–depriving the kingdom of God of our time and talent.  Has your toil provided you with a fraction of the wealth that Solomon had?  He was the richest man in the world according to II Chronicles 9, but the text states that not even he could not use wealth to by clothing as illustrious as this simple wild flower clothed by God.  Therefore, we would do well to place his kingdom first as he commands.  We can’t place our cares first and expect God to honor them.  God requires an exchange.  Place your heart on his kingdom and his righteousness, and you can hand your worries over to him.

Maybe you are not just worried about making provisions, maybe you are inundated by many troubles.  But I implore you, take your mind off your burden.  Give it over to God.  When you take your heart off your own troubles, he will make provision for all them.  If you have suffered loss of a home or job he will make provide a way for you at his set time.  I Peter 5:6-7 reads, “humble yourselves therefore under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all of your anxiety upon him, because he cares for you.”  Is there a burden on your heart?  Worry no longer!  Stop trying to handle it yourself.  Wait for God to perfect your concerns at his time.  The prideful man tries to handle it himself and trusts in his own provisions.  But we can trust in God because scripture tells us that he cares for us.

Luke 21:34 says “Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down…with the anxieties of life.  God has not overlooked your troubles. Look at the life of Paul, did any christian have more troubles than he?  Yet, his heart was not weighed down. Despite his troubles, he remained kingdom focused.  He knew his eternal reward was more important than “light and momentary troubles”–as he called them.  What is the attitude of your heart?  Is it weighed down?  Proverbs 15:15 reads “But the cheerful heart has a continual feast.”  We cannot always choose what happens to us.  But we can choose our attitude as we face each situation.  We can worry or we can choose to have a cheerful heart.  Paul…the same man who was shipwrecked twice, beaten with rods, imprisoned…had the secret for dealing with worries and troubles.  In Phillipians 4, he says be anxious for nothing, instead think on those things that are noble, right, true, lovely and of a good report.  I  pray that we cease from worry but maintain a cheerful heart.  May we think on things that are good.  And foremost, may we pursue Christ’s kingdom first-in lieu of focusing on our own cares and concerns.

The Frustrated Christian is Cosumed By Toil ,and the Pursuit of Wealth and Advancement

“What  does a man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun?” Ecclesiates 1:3

In the book of Ecclesiates, Solomon–to whom God bestowed more wisom and more riches than anyone that ever lives, ironically declares that the pursuit of pleasures, toil and wealth are meaningless!  He equates chasing after these things to chasing after the wind.  Instead, Solomon emphasizes that happiness comes from the pursuit of God and seeking to please him.  Ecclesiastes 2:25-26.

Solomon warns that those who love money and obsessively seek it never find the hapiness that it promises.  Ecclesiates 5:10.  He states that it is far better to be a poor youth than a king that lacks such wisdom.  Men toil their entire lives to accumulate wealth that gets enjoyed or squandered by someone else when they pass away.

Solomon recommends this, “That everyone eat, drink, and find satisfaction in their work–this is the gift of God.” Ecclesiastes 3:13-14.  He warns against toiling for the sake of accumulating wealth.   Solomon does not mean that we should not work hard though, rather suggests “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.” Ecclesiastes 9:10.  The same commission was given by Paul to the  Colossians:

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not form men, since you receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.  It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”  Colossians 3:23

Why else should we work, as unto the Lord?  Because the word says that promotion comes not from the east or the west, but from God (Psalm 76:5).  So we work heartily to him and expect our reward from him.  God is the judge that will lift one up and sit another down.  But most importantly, Mark 4:19 states that the deceiftfulness of wealth makes the word of the gospel unfruitful.  A man cannot serve two masters, we cannot serve both God and money.  Either we are going to love money and forsake the kingdom, or vice versa.  Matthew 6:24.

The Frustrated Christian Has Forgotten Their First Love

Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied, ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” Matthew 22:37-40

The greatest two commandments are keep the christian from focusing to much on himself and his own concerns.  When we become self-absorbed, we become our own idol.  We replace our love for God with self-love.  Our love for God and his kingdom take a back seat to our own pleasures and desires.  Our neighbor’s concerns are no longer a priority.   What is it to love our neighbor like ourselves?  Well…how do you love yourselves!?  When we put our hearts and minds on our neighbors concerns…and give them what we would like to be given…that is loving your neighbor to the standard you love your self.  Is that not the golden rule, do unto others as you would have it done unto yourself? Would not we want forgiveness for ourselves?….give it unto others.  Would we want others to pray for us?..pray for others.  In fact, my litmus test for self absorption is this…what do you spend the majority of your time praying about?  What do you pray about first?  Is it others?  Or is it some desire?  James says this…”Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your pleasures” (James 4:3).  We frustrate our own prayers when we are self absorbed, because God will not honor selfishness. When God taught the disciples to pray, did he not say “OUR father, give US the daily bread, forgive US” Our prayer lives should model the fathers…it should be about US and not just “ME.” We are to “bear one anothers burdens.” Galatians 6:2.   We must learn to take our neighbors concerns to God as if they were our own concerns.

Despite what the prosperity teachers are preaching, God is not in the business of blessing the saints so that we can show out to our enemies, friends, relatives, or co-workers.  We don’t give with vain motives.  “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others more significant than yourselves.”  God does not give us seed for our own vain glory.   He is blesses us to be a blessing.  He gives seed to the sower….so that we can sow in the lives of others.  In return, God proises that those who sow generously will reap generously. II Corinthians 9:6.  You will not lack, but have plenty extra to do the work of God.

As it is written: he has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor; his righteousness endures forever.” Now he who supplies seeds to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness.  You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in many expressions of thanks to God.  II Corinthians 9:8-11

It’s never been about you.  It’s about God’s gospel, God’s kingdom, and God’s people.  In fact, How do we demonstrate the first and greatest commandment of loving God with all our hearts, minds, and soul?  He says, “If you love me, feed my sheep.”  John 21:15-17.  If we truly love our father, the litmus test is this…we will evangelize!  We will use the talents that he gave us to evangelize to his kingdom.  Consider the parable of the talents in Luke 19.  The king went away for a time and left his servants with 10 talents each to put to work until he returned.  1 servant produced 10 more, one produced 5 more, 1 servant buried his talent.  And what did God do?…he took the talent from him and gave it to the one who produced ten.  Let not God return to us to discover that we have buried our talent and done nothing for the kingdom of God!

Let’s talk about the final judgement when the Son of man comes in his glory.  “Then the King will say to those on his right, “Come, you who are blessed by my father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.  For when I was hungry, you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came.”   When the righteous asks when did we do these things, God will say, “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.”  Our ministry should always be to the least.  If we love our father, we will give to the least.  Our ministries should be for the least!   Even Christ’s ministry was to the least.  He said: The spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has annointed me to preach the gospel to the poor.  He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight to the blind, to released the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.  Luke 4:18

I have poured over the books of the prophets in the Old testament.  God’s anger is always kindled against the proud and those who witheld justice from the poor–or those who oppressed the poor.  His anger is kindled against those who selfishly pursue gain for themselves and overlook the widows and the fatherless.  In fact, Jesus’s own brother James who likely knew him the most intimately said this, true religion acceptable to God is taking care of the widows and fatherless.  James 1:27.  I belive that the most defiled gospel, is the gospel of self.  The  mission should be this:

To loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke. To share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter–when you see the naked to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own fles and blood…Then your light will break forth like the dawn…When you call the Lord will answer you.”  Isaiah 58: 6-9

Our love for God is demonstrated in our love for other neighbors…especially the least among us.  It is also demonstrated in our committment to sharing his gospel.  May we not be so caught up in ministering to our ownselves that we forget our first love.  May we not make other things and other people our first love and become to God like Hosea’s wife.  Hosea 2:7, “She will chase after her lovers but will not catch them, she will look for them but not find them, Then she will say, I will go back to my husband as at first.”  God used this analogy to show that his adulterous people will return to their first love–God himself!  Chasing after idols and self preservation will get you no where.  Christians must never forget their first love!  Remember when you first God saved?!  You were so excited about what you had found that you couldn’t wait to share the gospel with someone else.  You prayed for the opportunity for God to use you.  You stayed up at night reading the word.  God comissions us to return to how we were formely.  God says this:

I know your deeds, your hard work and your perserverance.  I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be aposteles but are not, and have found them false.  You have perservered and endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.  Yet I hold this against you:  You have forsaken your first love.  Remember the height from which you have fallen!  Repent and do the things you did at first.  If you do not repent I will come to you and remove your lampstand from it’s place.

I will end with this…we are the light of the world.  We are God’s lampstand.  God says in Mark 4:19 “Do you bring in a lamp to put it under a bowl or a bed?  Instead, don’t you put it on a stand.”  Here God is saying that our life should be a lamp that helps people see God.  What bowls have we allowed to dampen our light?  Self-gain?  Desires?  Let us instead do good deeds unto men and make this our ultimate priority, so that we may gain glory for our father and not ourselves.

“Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16.

The Frustrated Christian Has Not Counted the Cost of Discipleship

If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters, yes–even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.  And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.  In the same way, any of you that do not give up everything cannot be my disciple.”

Don’t let the prosperity teachers deceive you with their excessive teachings about gain!  It’s quite the opposite.  Discipleship will cost you everything!  Discipleship is not about getting your next blessing or breakthrough…it’s about giving of yourself.  It’s about losing yourself.  And we are commanded to carry our own crosse and to die to daily to self.  in order to win some for Christ we must pour ourselves out.  It will cost us everything!

The parable of the hidden treasure; the parable of the fine pearl

The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field.  When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and purchased the field.  Matthew 13:44

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls.  When he found one of great value,he went away and sold everything he had to purchase it.  Matthew 13:45.

To be sold out for Christ, means that we sell our own plans, pleasures and desires for success and gain for God and his kingdom.  Despite what prosperity teachers claim, to lose ourselves and our desires–is to gain.  God uses the foolishness to confound the wise.  See, worldly principles are reversed in God’s kingdom.  The gospel is not about self preservation and self gain.  It may cost you everything.  The 12 disciples gave up everything to follow Christ. Mark 10:25.  God follows in the next verse with this, “No one who has left homes or brothers or sisters or mothers or fathers or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive one hundred times as much in this present age (homes,brothers,sisters, mothers, children, fields and with them persecutions[ I will discussed in the message about suffering] in this age and in the age to come eternal life.  But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”  Marl 10:29-31

God’s system is not the world’s system.  It is foolishness to them (I Corinthians 1:20).  To gain, you must lose.  And God promises 100X in this life.  To those who have status and wealth on earth–will lack such importance in heaven.  Christ says the first shall be last.  Those who are lowly and humble on earth, those who are poor…they will be first in the kingdom of heaven. In fact, according to Matthew Matthew 5:1, the kingdom of heaven is theirs!  There are many people who are poor and suffering lack on this earth who are looked on with contempt and pity.  But Matthew 5 calls them blessed!  Why, because while those who sow gain in this life have a TEMPORAL reward, the poor shall reap ETERNAL rewards in heaven.  They will no longer be the last, but first!  Everything will be reversed!  We thank God that we don’t suffer persecution, but Matthew 5, says that they shall reap the kingdom of heaven!  Does it then make sense to waste your life on temporal things? Does invest all that you have in what you can only keep for a moment, and nothing in what lasts an eternity?  I beseech you, be eternally minded!  Don’t waste your life and time here on earth–serve God!  Use this as an opportunity to serve God.

Your love for God and his kingdom should be immeasurably greater than your love for yourself and your family…that it would almost appear that your love for them is as hate in comparison.  Matthew 10:34 says this, “Anyone who loves his father and mother more than me are not worthy of me.  For he who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for my sake shall find it.”  The pursuit of gain paradoxically leads to loss.

Special Topics: The Frrustrated Single and the Frustrated Mourner

“Be careful, then, how you live–not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.  Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” Ephesians 5:15-17.

“What I mean brothers, is that time is short.  From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if were not theirs to keep, those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them.  For the world in it’s present form is passing away. I would like you to be free with concern.  An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs–how he can please the Lord.  But the married man is concened about the affairs of this world–how he can please his wife, and his interests are dividied. I Corinthians   7:29-35.

This is an offshoot of the “counting the cost of discipleship” [please read that first] message but I felt that I should address these topics separately.  Now I can already hear the clutching of the pearls, but I just have a few simple things to say about two highly charged subjects, in hopes that this can help someone.  Regarding singleness I must say this–there are so many single christians who are frustrated with singeleness.  To this I say-understand what the will of the Lord is.  If you are single right now–it is for a divine purpose.  God is perfectly capable of bringing you a mate right not of he so willed.  And instead of having this understanding,  so many christians are so unhappy with their current situation.  This time is a gift.  This is your opportunity to use this time to do wonderful things for God’s kingdom that you may never have the opportunity to do if you are married.  But the problem is an undue consideration for self and personal happiness.  The content christian will make the best of this time.  We have to remember to despise our own lives for the sake of God’s glory.  And right now, God has determined that he can get the most glory from your life as a single.  Will you rob him of that glory and by despairing over your current situation.  Remeber, we should hate our own lives in comparison to our love and devotion to Christ.

And Paul makes it plain here…He said for the unmarried and the widows; It is good for them to stay unmarried. 1 Corinthians 7:8.  Why did Paul says this?  Because Paul was eternity-minded.  Marriage is a good thing, but scripture states that  there is no marriage in eternity Matthew 22:30.  My desire is not to demote marriage, but I can’t help to place first things first as it so relates to scripture.  And according to scripture, our love for God is demonstrated foremost by for feeding his sheep. John 21:17.  Bringing the gospel to God’s people is where his priority is.  And thus, that should be our priority, especially for those who are single.  We should always have a since of urgency with sharing the gospel and not waste time as Paul commissions in the above text. So many people waste their season of singleness praying, praying, and praying for a husband.  They spend more time praying for a husband than praying for the poor, the sick, or the persecuted.  God knows your desires.  But we must know what the will of the Lord is.  God is not going to change his plans, but he will willingly frustrate your plans (Psalm 33:10, Provebs 19:21)  as I discussed in an earlier message.

Also I must say this, people think that marriage will somehow solve all of their problems, but it’s not true.  Marriage has an entire myriad of problems of it’s own! Infact, Paul states that those who are married will face many troubles in this life. 1 Corinthians 7:28.  And if you are lonely now, you will be lonely in marriage.  Marriage will not halt sexual temption if it is there.  It won’t satisfy dependency or deep emotional needs.  Marriage will not keep you from escaping trials and the difficulties of life.  People are waiting for this magical life to start–but this is not realistic thinking.  But the real trajedy is the time spent discontent or in despair about being single–time that could have been used to win souls for Christ!  Scripture warns us that the preoccupation with the “desires of for things” or the “cares of this world” which keep many from being dedicated to sharing the gospel with the world.  Please understand that I know that marriage is a ministry that deserves our time and prayers, but you all know that I am talking about something different here.

I remember reading this short story in Luke many years ago about Anna, and it’s so funny because back in the day I thought it was the most tragic story ever.  Luke 2:36, it says she was eighty-four and a prophetess and that she had loss her huband after seven years of marriage.  She never remarried…never left the temple, but worshipped night and day, fasting and praying…and prophesied about the the coming of baby Jesus.  I thought it was so sad, that she never remarried and that she never came out of that temple!  But  from the perspective of eternity, I’m willing to bet that Anna’s commitment to praying day and night did some awesome benefit to those in Jerusalem and for the kingdom.  And what she stored up in treasure in heaven for her dilligence–one can only imagine!  I added this story not to suggest that anyone commit to this lifestyle–but to highlight Anna’s eternity-minded focus.  The limitation really resides in how much we are willing to give of ourselves.

Paul mentions the mourner in his verse as well…and I just want to say this.  There are so many people who walk away from the faith or distrust God because a love one passes away.  But we must remember that God loves our beloved family members immeasurably more than we could ever love them.  And in his divine wisdom he decided to take them on to glory.    We cannot love our families and friends to the degree that their loss cause us to resent Christ.  God also tells us that anyone who loves family more than him is not worthy to be his disciple. Matthew 10:34.  We have to be eternity-minded about what has happened to them.  Our precious ones are above with our father.  When someone dies it’s not because we lacked enough faith or because God didn’t come through…it’s because all of our days are numbered.  Our time here is short as Paul says!  We were not destined to be here forever.  So when God can get more glory from  our death than our lives, we have to be willing to accept this transition.  For to be absent in the body is to be present in the spirit.  Please forgive me if it appears so, but I don’t want to minimalize the grief associated with anyone’s loss.  I  just want to say that we should always remember to view things from God’s perspective.  We must not let personal loss cause us to be drawn away from the faith in God.  If we also remember Anna’s story, it would seem that her husband died when she was a young woman after only seven years of marriage.  But she didn’t let this stop her…she continued to serve God–and with diligence!  Naomi had lost her husband and sons and became bitter, but did not God giver her a daughter and law that was better than seven sons?  My point here, is that we should not allow grief to turn our hearts away from our commitment to God and serving him.

The Frustrated Christian Does Not Understand the Necessity of Suffering

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great crowd of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run the race with perserverance the race marked out for us, Let us fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2

God has marked out a race for each of us.  He has a plan for each of our lives.  As we know, a race is full of many obstacles that must be overcome.  This let’s me know, that we are going to have to go over some hurdles as christians.  It’s not a wonder to me–that God includes the verse that he is an author and finisher of our faith in the context of describing this race.  We know then, that God is going to use those very obstacles to perfect our faith.   During these times, we must learn to “fix our eyes on Jesus” and not on these situations.

James puts it this way, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance.”   Perseverance must finish its perfect work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:1.  Trials that would have “taken you out” back in the day, you can now “press out of” because you have been there before and God brought you through. See the testing of your faith is like a muscle.  After you have been tried with the 100lb weight the 50lb weight is cake!  You have been pressed to the next level, so when this kind of trial comes again you know how to belive yourself through.  If your faith muscle has never been tried, you will fall under the pressure of that 50lb weight everytime.  But see God wants you perfect, lacking nothing!  He wants you complete and mature.  See faith is not about the acquisition of stuff, it is a journey!  It’s an experience with God.  You have to be tried…you must understand that you are going to have to go through somethings.  And some of your problems are going to stick around for a while.  You can’t get to mastering the 100lb weight after one day.

To understand suffering, we must not look at it from a natural point of view…we must be eternity-minded.  James 1:12 says, “Blessed is the man who perserveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.”   Paul says it this way…”Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?  Run in such a way to get the prize.  Everyone who competes in the games go into strict training.  They do it to get a crown that will last forever.” I Corinthians 9:24-25.  You are going to have to train.  You are going to have to lift some weights and be put under some strain in order to share the gospel.  You are going to endure something to get the crown.  Listen, we can’t get  it for nothing!!   Because we know that if we suffer with christ, we shall be glorified with christ.    We must be partakers in Christ’s suffering if we want to partake in his eternal glory.  But we are not the only ones that benefit…we suffer for the sake of bringing the gospel to others.

“If anyone competes as an athlete, he does not get the victors crown unless he competes according to the rules…This is my gospel to which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal.  But God’s word is not chained.  Therefore I endure everything for the sake of God’s people, that they may too obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus.  If we died with him, we will also live with him.  If we endure, we will also reign with him.” II Timothy 5-12.

The rules are this, if we want to win others for Christ we are going to have to go through some trials.  Well how does your suffering help others, you ask?  You can’t help someone if you haven’t been where they are.  If I never went through anything, I couldn’t help get someone else out of their pit.  Revelation 12:11 “says that we are saved by the blood of the lamb and the POWER of THEIR testimony.”  Your testimony has the power to save people and get them out of their pit!!!  You are going to have to go through something to win some for Christ!

Paul put it this way, “Though I am a free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone to win as many as possible.  To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews.  To those under the law I became like one under the law…To the weak I became weak, to win the weak.  I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some.  I do this all  for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in it’s blessings.” I Corinthians 9:19-23.  Have you suffered through something?  Has God brought you out of a low place?  Use is to save the lowly!  If God has humbled you…let us not exalt ourselves…but let us become low so that we may win some for Christ!.  So that our testimonies may have the power to save someone else!  Some christians have gone through some really dark places in life.  I don’t want to minimalize anyone’s suffering, that is not my intent.  But instead of letting those bad things hinder you and frustrate your faith, let it prompt you to sharing the gospel.  Romans 8:18, says that because we live in a fallen and sinful world, we all suffer. Christians too!  Some of us have suffered due sin caused by other people. Some really bad things have happened to some people…It’s not because God desired that bad situtation to happen to you…it’s because of the fallen world.  But Paul says we groan inwardly but wait patiently for our adoption as sons, for the redemption of out bodies(23).  We must stay focused on eternity–where there is no suffering, no death, no pain. Revelation 21.4.  See Paul exemplified being eternity-minded.  Many people will look Paul’s death as great loss.  They would say despite his pursuit of the gospel, that it failed him because ultimately he was murdered.   But Paul considered it great grain.  In fact, he was so eternity-minded that he wanted to “get in on” the resurrection. He said,

“But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.  What is more, I consider everything loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have loss all things.  I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law…but the righteousness that comes from God and is by faih.  I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, become like him in his death, and so, somehow to attain the resurrection of the death.”

See Paul was looking at the things in heaven, not the things on this earth.  Not even his own life mattered.  In Phillipians 1:20-21, he said “I eagerly ecpect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or death.  For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”   My sincere hope is that we are not ashamed–that we may be able to look at our lives and know that we didn’t waste it on self-gain and self-preservation.  We see christians in foreign lands dying for this gospel…and we consider it a great fortune that this is not own lot.  Because we are looking at the temporal things…the things of this world…and we see it as a great trajedy. But Matthew 5:10 calls them Blessed!!  “Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righeteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”  They will be greatest in the kingdom of heaven!  Verse 11 says, “Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you and falsely say all kind’s of evil against you because of you because of me.  Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way the persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

If you can exchange tempary greatness and comfort, for external greatness…would you do it?  But we do it everyday…we groan and moan….murmur and complain.  Romans 4:8 says “We are pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair, persecuted, but not abandones; struck down but now destroyed…(16) Therefore do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are renewed everyday. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us eternal glory that outweighs them all.” Let us not be weighed down by suffering in this life, because it produces eternal reward.  But in this life, adversity and afflcition has its benefit as well.  God calls them, bread and water!  We need them like we need food–they provide strength and perseverance.  God has not promised us an easy pass in life for being christians.  You are going to go throught!!   But God says, “When you pass through the rivers; I will be with you.” When you walk through the fire you will not be burned.” Isaiah 43:2  See the trials are not meant to bring you harm.  He is right there with you!  He will not allow you to be harmed.  Make no mistake, the flood is coming!  The fire will come!  But neither will overtake you.  You will be like Daniel in the lions Den…or the three Hebrew boys in the fiery furnance!  If we are not delivered from the furnace, he has made us conquerors over life and death! Romans 8:37-38.  The frustrated christian does not understand that affliction is as necessary as bread and water.  Our undue consideration for self comfort causes us to buckle under affliction, instead of allowing it to prove us. “You have tested us, O God; you have purified us like silver.” Psalm 66:10.   Will you come forth as pure silver or gold…or avoid the refiners fire?”